Fighting Inner Demons!

Most of our battles are with the demons inside our head. Every now and then, if we could check on our emotions, we will be surprised that our brains are sending out wrong vibes into the universe and attracting those things which should not be a part of our life. Creative people struggle more with emotions, because they feel everything deeply. At 25, I regret having fed my demons and allowing them to take so much space in my head and life.

Few years back, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). PCOS messes with the hormones and the medications can make life miserable. I was moody, angry and most of the time, I had no control over my emotions. Although I am completely healed, I struggle with flashes of depression every now and then. But I have taken a decision to overcome and become mentally healthy and I follow these rules –

  1. When you are overwhelmed with an emotion, PAUSE.
  2. If feel hopeless, fool your brain – You can either make up a good situation or recollect something you really enjoyed
  3. Do not listen to emotional songs. Stay away from quotes, books, songs that will not allow you to move on and feel the next emotion.
  4. Hang around with people who can help you. When they help, there can be a tendency to push them off. But it is necessary to overcome if you have to enjoy the present.
  5. Keep yourself healthy. Exercise, eat healthy food.
  6. Train your brain to stimulate only positive thoughts.
  7. It is very easy to stay away from people and corner yourself in a closed room – DO NOT DO THIS.

Sometime your biggest enemy can be YOU. While others can see great potential, you will find yourself drowning in something beyond your control. Release the negative, and smile.

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Quote

Golden Days

Tingshas and bells were heard
Cutting through the fog, I ran up

Crimson sky gave birth to the sun
She gave
 me the smile

Wrapped me in the warmth of her love
Shimmery rays touched my face

He stirred the cup of cocoa
The smell of chocolate wafted in the air

Picked red roses
Tip toed beneath lights
I sang to the crescent moon

God gave golden days

 

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Give up to grace

She experienced Grace

When she was angry and a voice said ‘Calm Down’
She was sad and she heard ‘It’s okay’
When she wanted to be rude and she heard ‘Be Kind’
She wanted to blurt and she heard ‘Stop’
When she lost hope and suddenly remembered ‘It’s just a day’
She loved something too much and she remembered ‘Nothing is forever’
She was afraid and she knew she is not alone
She felt envious and she heard ‘It’s not your path’
She felt hateful but then something reminded her that ‘Life is short’
She felt proud but remembered she is not the only contributor to her success
She was anxious and then remembered that it’s best when it’s uncertain
She felt frustrated but somebody said ‘there is more than one way’
It was painful but somebody reminded that ‘It is the most beautiful twist in your story’

Grace overwhelms the soul, quietens ruffled thoughts and diverges into the depth until endurance is born. Grace overcomes.

Books I Love ..1

What I Know For Sure is an eye opener. Written with such simplicity and humour, the books demands to be added to your collection.

Kevin Hart’s best seller, I Can’t Make This Up, reminds you that you don’t have to be born with a golden spoon to be successful. I believe it should get the best book award of the year 2017.

Lessons about Prayer

Few days back I came across a quote that says ‘Every positive thought is a silent prayer’ and I cannot agree less.

For years, we are taught to fast and pray for all our desires but what about those things that God gave us even without us asking for it? If I were to name one or two,

  • He gave us beautiful landscapes to live in
  • He allowed us to be born into families that have at least one good human being
  • He allowed at least one person to come into our lives when we were going through different phases and they are the people we call as friends

Isn’t it beautiful to think that we are favored by him and it has nothing to do with our righteousness or how good we are?

We have needs and we have desires. So how do we approach it? As it is written, Be careful for nothing but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God. If you ask me to fast for 40 days, to receive something, I have a question, Do we have to beg our father for a blessing?

My relationship with God has been of a father and his child. Even before a thought for a need was created by my mind, it has been met in the most fatherly way. That is why I know that I am a co creator for my future. So, it is necessary for our spirit to be in a positive zone with no negative emotions.

Last weekend, I went to my aunty’s place and she showed me a prayer journal. She wrote all those things in it that was not in her control. When we place our fears, our weakness into the hands of God, he is able to create the necessary situations and bring people in our lives to help us.

We can pray with a selfish intent too. As it is given, But my God is able to supply all your needs according to the riches of his glory. He will give but some where down the lane, you will see that it didn’t work for your benefit.

So what I have learnt is, before we start using prayer as form of begging to God, we have to cleanse our spirit by pondering more on our intent. We have to surrender all our emotions to God and then God will teach us to pray.

I want to conclude this post with a prayer

Dear God,

I pray for all my readers. Wherever they are in this moment, thank you for being there for them. Thank you for all the paths you have taken them thus far and thank you for the angels you have given them in form of friends or family who are able to guide them in the most earthly manner. I submit all our needs and desires into your hands minus the emotions such as fear, envy, loneliness etc. Some trusts in chariots and some in horses but we will remember the name of the Lord our God. You know our immediate need and you are going before us for which I am grateful.

In this moment, we also remember Las Vegas. Some of our dear ones have lost their loved ones, some are severely injured. Life looks uncertain. As it is written, My help cometh from Lord which made heaven and earth, please help us all to remain under thy wings. To trust you. Amen

 

Storm

The last few weeks have been like a roller coaster. Young friends passing away in accidents or due to illness, elder ones getting admitted to the hospital, some of them dying without getting admitted. In the midst of all that, there are million noises in the form of opinions, judgements, life advices etc.

We constantly debated about how difficult it is to enter into heaven. By church rules, unless a man trust in God and does not have faith in God’s healing, nobody is entering the gates of heaven but what about so many good souls who have lived an exemplary life, had to be admitted to hospitals with incurable diseases and yet died in peace. Other rules require a man to not sin physically nor emotionally. But is human beings supposed to be God Like? Will every human be allowed to be God like? When I say God Like, it means not to commit physical, emotional or mental sins. Then what is the need for God to be above us, if we could be so pure? Yes! We are supposed to adorn an image like the body of Christ but how do you and I know if God in his almightiness will let you to make choices that will finally make you Christ Like?

As I began to feel the storm inside me, I reminded myself that I have to focus on the still voice. My uncle said only Caleb and Joshua entered Canaan, not even Moses. Caleb was a humble man. But that was not it. God was more attracted to the fact that when Moses asked spies to go to Canaan to check, they came back saying there are giants and they couldn’t fight them, Caleb and Joshua came back with the response that Israel could fight over the giants. They had faith. (Numbers 13)
This is a preaching of a pastor that I got reminded by that still voice.
Last week we were at a Good Friend’s place who said, most of us live with so much simplicity, a very mediocre life which has nothing to do with the world, but if asked by anyone if we will enter into heaven, nobody will raise their hand. Why?
Their faith is on their own Christian performance, not on God who is the author and finisher of their race.

The Fine Line

There are many sayings like ‘let go of people’ because they dull your spirit, they are negative etc. If we do that, slowly we run out of relationships. Yes, it is necessary to let go of certain toxicity which can harm our system but avoiding every second person who does wrong to you means it has something to do with you. You are not strong. This is what I call a ‘FINE LINE’.

We all know that there is a universal law of giving. When we have a positive spirit, we attract many people, many of whom can destroy us and few who will build us. Too many people want us to be a part of their lives. But can we be there for everyone? Should we pull out from relationships that makes us unhappy?

We all need each other. Even the bad guy. So when we pull ourselves out from certain relationship because we are getting harmed, what we don’t realize is that they are energies and they can feel the void. In the last few days what I have realized is that, we need to get rid of our hurt place. Yes! people constantly hurt us but if we are like shape memory polymers, we will have the ability to return from any deformed shape to the original shape which is the happy state. Deflecting negativity requires us to stop focusing on our emotions are reactive. Today can be terrible but tomorrow can be different if we do not react.

A week back one of my good friend’s husband passed away. The last memory I have about him is how happy he was to invite us to his place. He was happy, making fun of little things and then we saw him lie there with no smile. It was heart breaking. Once the spirit is gone, this body that we live in, does not have anything to give to the world. It won’t even look the same.

So when our spirit is alive, the only thing we have to do is give happiness, make memories and dwell on positivism. Tomorrow when we leave, nobody should have a memory of the face without life but the one that makes them smile.

Rest in peace Samsen. Your smile will always be remembered.

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